Yes to the Dress

“Weddings are so weird. This veil costs more than my couch.” – Liz Lemon, “SeinfeldVision,” 30 Rock.

In the very first episode of TLC’s hit wedding show Say Yes to the Dress, bride-to-be Kim describes trying on the dress she chose to be her wedding dress:

“I found the dress. It’s gorgeous, I don’t know what to say, I just had a great feeling in the dress. I think I had the moment where everyone says, you’ll know, you’ll know. That definitely happened for me. I felt like myself in my dress. I felt beautiful. I love it.”

I’ve heard that before–you’ll just know when you find the perfect dress. You’ll have that feeling. Well, the other day I had that feeling when I came across this dress on my Instagram feed:

dream wedding dress

I had that feeling you get when see an article of clothing and you know you just have to have it. This is the one. I will have it, somehow, in some form.

side chignonLooking at the picture, I could already imagine how beautiful I’d feel in the dress and at the same time how natural it would look on me. As if every morning I woke up destined to be covered head-to-toe in a strapless lace gown topped with a silver belt at the natural waist line, hair swept to one side in a messy chignon.

Something told me to save this information for later, so I took a few screenshots and did a little more research. The dress, by Romona Keveza Collection from the Fall 2013 bridal collection, is listed on Kleinfeld’s website as a strapless, sheath gown, made of lace with a silver belt around the natural waistline. Of course the price was no where to be found, but I can only imagine how far out of my price range it was.

I texted the screenshots to a few friends and one of my friends, who designs clothing, even told me she could make a pattern for me. Perfect. Wedding dress, check.

Wait. WHAT?!

Picking out a wedding dress before even remotely close to planning a wedding?Taking screenshots of said wedding dress and sharing them with friends? Bookmarking the designer’s website so I’d have this information for later?

Have I secretly been a single bridezilla all this time and I just didn’t know it until now? You know, one of those single women who has everything but the groom planned for her wedding?

Royal Wedding DressLooking back, maybe there were a few signs. I did watch the Royal Wedding about 20 times because I’m obsessed with Kate Middleton’s wedding dress.  I guess that’s a pretty clear sign. Can you really blame me? The Chantilly lace! The dressmakers washed their hands every 30 minutes to avoid dirtying the thing! Kate Middleton brought back long sleeves with that dress!

Okay, so maybe I love a nice fancy dress, but beyond that, I’m not one of those people who’s married to the idea of planning a wedding before they even have a fiance. I don’t even like planning detailed events like weddings. I’m not really the type of person who sends out invitations that match the chair coverings and the floral arrangements.  I certainly won’t be starting my own I’m-Single-But-Planning-My-Wedding Pintrest board any time soon.

Still, there was something about the wedding dress I saw online that I couldn’t let go of. What is it about wedding dresses that has me so captivated? It’s just an overpriced dress you can only get away with wearing on one day!

Or is it?!

Liz Lemon dressIn 30 Rock episode “SeinfeldVision,” newly-single Liz Lemon becomes enamored with a wedding dress when she accompanies her co-worker (whom she agreed to be a bridesmaid for) to the bridal store. The co-worker asks Liz to try on a dress for her as it looks too big. Liz loves the wedding dress and even gets jealous when she sees someone else trying it on a week later. The saleswoman, trying hard to make the sale, reminds Liz that “a lot of women buy their perfect dress when they see it and just trust the fact that their husband will come.”

Liz buys the wedding dress and takes it to work with her. Thinking no one will see her, she tries on the dress. Of course, everyone catches her in the dress and makes her the butt of the jokes, so Liz defends her actions by saying:

“I just bought a dress because I don’t need society’s permission to buy a white dress, I mean who says this is a wedding dress. Anyway in Korea, they wear white to funerals.”

To prove her point, she spends the rest of the work day in her wedding dress, giving a tour of the office to Jerry Seinfeld and eating greasy food.

Phoebe MonicaSimilarly, on Friends, in “The One With All the Wedding Dresses,” Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel find that going about your daily business in a wedding dress is much more fun than not wearing a wedding dress. After picking up her brother’s fiancee’s wedding dress from the drycleaner, Monica decides she just has to try it on. She finds she loves the feeling of being in a wedding dress and continues to do the dishes in the dress. Soon, a pregnant Phoebe comes knocking at the door also wearing a wedding dress she’d rented for the day. A gigglefest ensues between the two friends as they hang out in their wedding dresses and even partake in a bouquet toss.

Friends dressesLater on in the episode, a newly dumped Rachel appears feeling depressed over the end of her relationship. Phoebe and Monica look at one another and realize they know the one thing that will make Rachel feel better. Cut to the three women on the couch, all dressed in wedding dresses, sipping beer, and eating popcorn. All of Rachel’s boyfriend problems, solved!

As Liz Lemon and Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel all experienced, there is something about wearing formal wear that makes us all feel a little bit better. Wearing a beautifully designed and flattering dress gives an extra boost of confidence, even if you’re only wearing it in the comfort of your own home.

All-in-all, my love of wedding dresses does not make me a “single bridezilla.” I’m not going to end up like Miss Havisham, sitting around in the cobwebs of my home wearing a wedding dress until the end of days. It just means I truly appreciate and desire a well-constructed piece of formal wear.

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Bridalplasty: Worst Show Ever?

I had the misfortune of watching the inaugural episode of Bridalplasty on E!. As part of my Sunday evening-let’s-pretend-we-don’t-have-to-work-tomorrow-or-ever routine, I like to lie flat on the couch and indulge in bad reality TV (my favorites are a tie between the Teen Mom marathons and the Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathons). After the Kardashians marathon ended, Bridalplasty aired.  I had seen promos for the show and had been appalled by them. Twelve women competing for their dream wedding and dream plastic surgery procedure? No, thank you. Bridezillas are bad enough as it is without an elimination competition.

However, as is the case when a person witnesses a terrible accident, I just couldn’t turn away. I wanted to see what motivated these women to want to be on such a terrible-sounding television show.  It was almost sad how desperate these women were to get their ” dream” weddings and dream plastic surgery procedures. As if getting a tummy tuck is the only way to secure wedded bliss. These women were so shallow that they were crying hysterically at the prospect of being eliminated.  I can’t imagine anyone that would actually want to marry someone who is so concerned with getting the “perfect” wedding and “perfect” body.  A wedding is only one day of a (hopefully) very long married life.  These women should be focusing on their marriages and not their wedding days.  Even worse is the fact that the majority of these women are actually pretty skinny and don’t appear to need any cosmetic surgery.  They just don’t seem comfortable in their own skin.

What I want to know is, whatever happened to good old-fashioned diet and exercise? Remember when that was an effective way to lose weight and get the body you always wanted? If you’re a size 10 and looking to fit in a size 4 wedding dress, you’re going to need to hit the gym hard and lay off the buckets of fried chicken.  Plastic surgery is not the way to go.

I probably won’t watch any more episodes of Bridalplasty for the simple fact that watching the previews for the rest of the season made me want to throw my television out the window. I’d like to keep my television in tact.